His Daughter's Mind
by Mockingbird Quester
Summary: Spock gets to know his own infant daughter, as only a telepath can. Spock/Uhura baby Chapter 1: Gentle Touch Chapter 2: Lullabies
1. Chapter 1

Dang! I've been into K/S for years, but this kink meme is leaning me more and more towards S/U and K/M. This prompt made me melt ;) I'm not sure if this is exactly what you had in mind though...

T'Amanda was the most beautiful baby he had ever laid eyes on, but Spock was fully ready to admit his feelings towards the 12 week old infant in his arms were biased and his opinion was far from logical.

She had light caramel colored skin, dark eyebrows and ears that came to a slight point. Her large brown eyes seemed to take in everything around her, and they often made him remember a phrase his elder self from the future had said upon seeing her for the first time. The ambassador had lifted one eyebrow and noted,"She looks as though she knows all the secrets of the universe, does she not?"

Those eyes were regarding her now, so seriously. He wondered what kind of person he seemed to this small being. The humans around them often made strange expressions and noises for her amusement, and the first time he had seen T'Amanda smile at their antics Spock had wondered if the small amount of Vulcan blood the baby possessed would show itself later. He also wondered if he would seem cold and emotionless to her, the way his own father often had in comparison to his more emotional human mother.

It had been only 87 days since his daughter's birth, but Spock found himself already feeling concern about who she would possibly become and the ways she might forever be apart from him. For the first time, his father's attempts to control his education and experiences when he was younger seemed logical. He could not conceive of leaving her future to the emotional whims her human impulses might direct her to, yet he had no doubt her strength of will would be similar to her mother's and leave him little choice.

Her dark eyes still followed him warily. He lifted a finger towards her and felt her fist, small but strong, enfold it. Through the touch, he sensed her thoughts, as primitive as they still were. They telepathic link between them consisted of images and emotions rather than actual words.

*warm touch, comfort, dark eyes, familiar mind, want attention, desire to be held*

Spock gently picked his infant daughter up and carefully placed his hand to the side of her forehead. *My mind to your mind. My thoughts to your thoughts.*

As gently as he could, he sent answering responses to her fragile mind. *My daughter, you are of great importance to my life. Your mother and I are very pleased with your presence. You are beyond all our expectations*

*I will not ask you to be an outsider among my people. I will not expect you to conform to the norms of either species. You may simply be... yourself."

He felt her consciousness still and fade into sleep. He carried T'Amanda back to the bed to rest beside her mother. Nyota claimed that human infants needed this closeness in order to develop a secure attachment, but Spock had consistently pointed out the illogic of this with the argument that no Vulcan child every slept so close to their parent. It suddenly seemed a ridiculous and illogical thing to have conflict over, as his daughter wiggled closer to rest closer against her mother's breast and let out a soft sigh. Who was he to attempt to determine her needs when she could express them to him so clearly.

It seemed to merit a human response from him as well, and he repeated the words he had only ever spoken before to his child's mother.

"I love you."

Spock then curled into bed on the other side of T'Amanda, her mother a warm presence on the opposite side of her and for the first time since her conception, allowed himself to relax and bask in the simple human contact of the two females that his family now consisted of. It was enough.


	2. Chapter 2

_I was planning to write the story of five year old T'Amanda dealing with being a big sister next, but my muse had other ideas. I was singing my son to sleep by going through my entire repertoire of lullabies, and I suddenly found myself wondering what the crew of The Enterprise would sing to a sleepy T'Amanda. All these songs are common lullabies in our house, with the exception of Chekov's. See list at bottom for more information on any song…_

_

* * *

_

Only a few weeks later, Spock was alone with his infant daughter for a night, or as Jim Kirk put it, he was "babysitting." Apparently there was something offensive about this phrase, as when Nyota heard she responded with "It is not babysitting for a man to provide care for his own child!" This resulted in a ten minute rant on her part about Starfleet captains and sexism, which Spock never clearly understood. Kirk took apparent delight in her reaction, and continued to goad her about it the remainder of the day. Spock was actually relieved when his wife kissed he and T'Amanda farewell and then transported down to the linguistics conference she was speaking at.

Rather than eat in their quarters, as was normally he habit, Spock took the baby down to the mess hall, with the thought that the new environment would be intellectually stimulating for her. He flatly denied to himself the possibility that he was also choosing to be around others because he feared he might be an inadequate caregiver for his child. Although he had not taken the opportunity to provide much of her basic physical care himself, he had observed Nyota doing these tasks at length and doubted they would be much challenge. Vulcans did not let themselves experience nervousness.

The bridge crew that was just coming off shift moved to sit with him while they ate and vied for T'Amanda's attention. The strange sounds and expressions they produced to make her giggle were beneath a Vulcan's dignity, but that didn't seem to bother any of the humans or the baby.

She smiled and gurgled in response, and Spock found himself once again regretting the fact that his mother had never even seen her granddaughter. He would have liked to have had a chance to ask her about his own infancy and compare his development to his daughter's. Perhaps it would change later but for now his daughter seemed entirely human, if one discounted the delicately pointed ears. It was puzzling.

Somehow his colleagues managed to invite themselves back to his family's quarters, and they spent the next hour passing T'Amanda from hand to hand, speaking to her in the odd, high-pitched voice all humans adopted when presented with an infant.

Montegomery Scott went so far as to speak to her entirely in Gaelic. Spock commented "Although any linguistic language pattern creates new synapses connections in the immature brain, it will not have any meaningful benefit at this stage of her development." Scotty simply laughed and replied, "The wee lass is naught too young to learn a bit of _Gàidhlig_..."

This resulted in Pavel Chekov insisting on speaking Russian to the baby as well, and by the time he was through, her eyelids were beginning to droop. Spock moved to take her and prepare her for bed, but Chekov smiled and began singing to her softly in his first language.

_Bayu-bayushki-bayu,_

_Ne lozhisya na serenkiy volchok,_

_On ukhvatit za bochok_

_I utashchit __vo lesok _

_Pod rakitovy kustok._

His voice was quite pleasant, and when he stopped, Sulu commented, "Is that a lullaby? It sounds sad…"

"Da. It is not sad really. It is to tell the child to stay away from ze woods or a wolf will eat her. It is a wery old song."

There was stunned silence for a moment, then Kirk burst out, "You're gonna give her nightmares with a song like that!"

Spock restrained himself from pointing out that T'Amanda could hardly be frightened of a song when she didn't even understand the lyrics.

Chekov bristled at the Captain's tone. "Is no worse that the song of 'Rock a Bye Baby' with ze baby falling from the tree!"

Kirk laughed. "Good point, but most Americans don't sing that song to babies anymore anyway."

"Den what do they sing?"

Kirk took T'Amanda in his arms and quietly sang a song that began with him crooning softly.

_Summertime,_

_And the livin' is easy_

_Fish are jumpin'_

_And the cotton is high_

_Your daddy's rich_

_And your mamma's good lookin'_

_So hush little baby_

_Don't you cry_

_One of these mornings_

_You're going to rise up singing_

_Then you'll spread your wings_

_And you'll take to the sky_

_But till that morning_

_There's a'nothing can harm you_

_With daddy and mamma standing by_

Sulu looked at him doubtfully when Kirk finished and commented, "My mother never sang anything like that!"

"What did she sing? Something in Japanese?"

Sulu snorted derisively, "I doubt it, since she only speaks English and Spanish!"

It was Chekov who asked, "What did she sing den?" and Sulu held T'Amanda and smiled at her as he sang,

_Well I'd like to visit the moon,_

_on a rocket ship high in the air. _

_Yes, I'd like to visit the moon, _

_but I don't think I'd like to live there. _

_Though, I'd like to look down at the earth from above,_

_I would miss all the places and people I love _

_so although I might like it for one afternoon _

_I don't wanna live on the moon._

_I'd like to travel under sea, _

_I could meet all the fish everywhere _

_Yes, I'd travel under the sea,_

_ But I don't think I'd like to live _there.

_I might stay for a day there if I had my wish _

_but there's not much to do when your friends are all fish, _

_and an oyster and clam aren't real family,_

_ so I don't wanna live in the sea. _

_I'd like to visit the jungle, hear the lions roar,_

_ go back in time and meet a dinosaur, _

_there's so many strange places I'd like to be,_

_ but none of them permanently. _

_So if I should visit the moon, _

_well I'll dance on a moonbeam and then, _

_I will make a wish on a star and _

_I'll wish I was home once again. _

_Though, I'd like to look down at the earth from above, _

_I would miss all the places and people I love _

_So although I may go, I'll be coming home soon _

_Cause I don't want to live on the moon _

_No I don't want to live on the moon. _

When he finished singing, T'Amanda was still awake, regarding him with curiosity and Spock began to worry she might be finding the music stimulating rather than relaxing.

The baby jumped in surprise when Dr. McCoy moved to hold her and loudly said, "Y'all call those lullabies? They wouldn't put a narcoleptic to sleep!" Then in a surprisingly strong and deep voice, he began singing an old religious song.

_Amazing grace, how sweet the sound_

_That saved a wretch like me_

_I once was lost but now am found_

_Was blind but now I see_

_Through many dangers, toils and snares_

_I have already come'_

_Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far_

_And grace will lead me home_

Still, at the end of his song, T'Amanda was still no closer to sleep and Spock began to wonder at the lack of logic in singing to evoke sleep in an infant.

Scotty took over next, singing a song that mainly consisted of the same three word phrase throughout.

_Bheir me o, horo van o_

_Bheir me o, horo van ee_

_Bheir me o, o hooro ho_

_Sad am I, without thee_

_Thou'rt the music of my heart_

_Harp of joy, o cruit mo chruidh_

_Moon of guidance by night_

_Strength and light thou'rt to me_

_In the morning, when I go_

_To the white and shining sea_

_In the calling of the seals_

_Thy soft calling to me_

_When I'm lonely, dear white heart_

_Black the night and wild the sea_

_By love's light, my foot finds_

_The old pathway to me_

When Scotty's song finally ended, Spock realized it was long past his daughter's bedtime and she would be unlikely to fall asleep surrounded by so many people willing to sing to her the remainder of the night.

He took her from Scotty's arms and tried to herd his friends out of his quarters.

"Although your efforts have been much appreciated, I believe I know how best to induce my child to sleep."

After a few more kisses farewell to the baby, his colleagues ("Friends!" Nyota would tell him."Friendship is not something to be ashamed of!") adjourned and he was left with T'Amanda in silence. He fed her a bottle of her mother's milk, changed her clothing and nappy, then moved to the gliding chair to lay his daughter upon his chest.

Very softly, as he rocked her gently back and forth, he sang the same song his own mother had often sung to him as a child. The old Earth song she always claimed was her favorite.

_Why are there so many songs about rainbows_

_And what's on the other side_

_Rainbow's are visions_

_They're only illusions_

_And rainbows have nothing to hide_

_So we've been told and some chose to_

_Believe it_

_But I know they're wrong wait and see_

_Someday we'll find it_

_The Rainbow Connection_

_The lovers, the dreamers and me_

_Who said that every wish_

_Would be heard and answered_

_When wished on the morning star_

_Somebody thought of that_

_And someone believed it_

_And look what it's done so far_

_What's so amazing_

_That keeps us star gazing_

_What so we think we might see?_

_Someday we'll find it_

_That Rainbow Connection_

_The lovers the dreamers and me_

_Have you been half asleep_

_And have you heard voices?_

_I've heard them calling my name_

_Are these the sweet sounds that called_

_The young sailors? I think they're one and the same_

_I've heard it too many times to ignore it_

_There's something that I'm supposed to be_

_Someday we'll find it_

_The Rainbow Connection_

_The lovers, the dreamers and me_

By the last word of the last verse, T'Amanda was sound asleep. Spock transferred her to the small bed that was beside her parents' and gently stroked the dark curls back from her face. Through the touch, he sensed only feelings of peace and contentment from her, as it should be.

Keeping his hand upon her, Spock let himself fall into relaxation and sleep. He would sleep longer than usual that night, the sleep of a secure child, and his hand would still be touching her when she woke him early the next morning.

_*Songs mentioned in this fic_

_Kirk's: "Summertime" from Porgie and Bess._

_Scooty's: "Eriskay Love Lilt" (I never knew that was the title until I looked for the lyrics)_

_McCoy's: "Amazing Grace" my deceased father's favorite lullaby._

_Sulu's: "Ernie's Song" from Sesame Street aka "Well, I'd like to Visit the Moon."_

_Chekov's "The Little Grey Wolf Will Come" seems to be the translation. Native Russian speakers, feel free to help me out on this._

_Spock's : "Rainbow Connection" or "Kermit's Song" from "The Muppet Movie." becuase it reflects on the character of Spock as well. _

_Other lullabies that always work IMO:_

_"You are my Sunshine" (the original sad version only ;)_

_"Country Road" by John Denver_

_"All the Pretty Horses" traditional with a sad background story._

_"Return to Pooh Corner" (I almost gave Sulu this one, but a flyman would have to sing Ernie's song ;)_

_"Love of My Life" by Carly Simon._

_"These Small Hours" from "Meet the Robinsons"_


End file.
